On the future of this site
Category: Site news

I paraphrase Balanchine as I say ‘imagination doesn’t come like a stomach ache; like everything else in life, you need to work at it.’

As I sit here at my computer and contemplate the future of this online journal, the above thought sits like a ton of brinks on the decision scale. That’s a good thing. Without it, there would, most likely, be no entries.

I won’t lie to you – lately I have been considering ending this experiment. The journal’s one year anniversary is fast approaching and I feel like I am in a rut. I have been struggling to find the purpose in it all. Oh I have hundreds of people who read the site, but the lack of comments can sometimes be a little sad. As a result, I often check the logs (picture a comic asking, “Is this thing on?”). There I am depressed by the sheer number of superfluous hits that are, in one way or another, related to smut. This leaves me wondering what type of writing experiment this is.

I don’t have the desire to be a “personal” blogger. By that I mean the type of person who shares his or her inner thoughts. Likewise, I don’t want to be a “my daily events” blogger. I’m not about to waste my time memorializing my breakfast choices. Furthermore, if learning of my uneventful trip to the drycleaners changes your life, I question your use of time and, quite possibly, your medication level. The mundane aspects of my life aren’t interesting to me. They certainly shouldn’t be interesting to you. Besides, if you lean toward the voyeuristic, there are plenty of places to feed those urges.

Over the past year I have attempted to be different, and, for the most part, I have enjoyed it. I admit that some entries were more interesting than others, but even then I attempted to incorporate something of interest. Sometimes it was a turn of a phrase. Other times, I worked to capture a cadence or an emotion. In any case, I attempted to give a little nugget of something to the world.

It has provided a place to practice a craft, but, more importantly, it has helped to free me. It has both validated and underscored my belief that imagination and thought aren’t finite wells. You won’t use them up. The truth is quite the opposite.

There was a time in my life when I felt the need to protect my ideas. I was afraid that I would accidentally give away the million-dollar thought. I feared that I would publish, for free, my “one good work.”

It took many years to come to the realization that such inclinations were counterproductive. I just didn’t understand that the pursuit of protection was fraught with irony. The best way to stop the thoughts from coming is to stop thinking. I spent all that creative energy protecting the “secret.” Somehow I didn’t expect this to affect my imagination. Oh well… C’est la vie.

The Internet boom and the proliferation of the NDAs (Non-Disclosure Agreements) didn’t help the cause. Living in the Silicon Valley during the mid 90s was an interesting time. The Internet was new and it seemed like a goldmine. Heck, forget the mine; it seemed like the streets were actually lined with gold. You just needed to get an idea (any harebrained one would do) and execute. As long as you followed one rule you would be fine; keep your idea a secret so that you can get a big enough head start.

With the precision of the changing of the guard, every meeting began with the signing of the NDAs. Every dinner had portions of the discussion that were conducted in a nearly inaudible whisper. There was a belief that all you needed was a head start, but what they didn’t tell you was that execution was what won the game. Oh sure, there are the exceptions, but, for the most part, businesses succeeded not because of some head start but instead because they ran a good business. Truth be told, in many cases the head-start didn’t matter one bit. Why? Because there was a shift in direction that rendered that advantage moot. In these cases it was much more important to have leadership and a group of people who had exercised their creative muscles. It was more important to have an open group.

This brings us to my present dilemma – what do I do here? I really should power through my current apathy towards the journal. The benefits are numerous. I suppose that I could turn comments off. I could then pretend that people were just dying to leave a comment but couldn’t. I have also been toying with including more pure fiction. This has its own issues, though. I don’t plan to use this site to write a book and I fear that others might get tired of what would probably amount to nothing more than writing exercises.

I know that I need to stop with the “to/two/too” titles. While I do have fun with them, I also find them to be confining.

I’m open to suggestions. Like always, if you feel more comfortable, you can just drop me an e-mail (for some odd reason I get a bunch of e-mails and few comments) Hmm…

Thanks for listening,
Steve

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