A musing or too much?

August 31, 2005

To share or not to share
Category: Society

Do you share everything with your significant other? Is it assumed within your circle of friends that if you tell one member of the couple you tell “the couple?” Or, do you keep separate stores of information? To what extent is this true?

For those telling *us* information – please assume that the default behavior is that all information will be shared. That’s not to say that there isn’t an override. You’ve got a reasonably good chance that if you specifically give “don’t share this with anyone including your better half” instructions we’ll obey.

I’m just curious what other people do. This weekend I learned that (and here’s the shocker) not everyone is like me. GASP. Now I’m left wondering how out of the norm I am.

If I’m completely out of the norm, please forgive me; I’ve most likely shared your deepest darkest secrets. In any case, let’s have it. I want all the remaining three readers (apparently people stop coming if you, uh, stop writing – who knew?) to share.

(If you thought that this post was interesting, why not read another? Perhaps a random link? Or you could just read about me.)

Posted by Stephen Speicher at August 31, 2005 12:10 PM

Comments

Do you share everything with your significant other?
Yes. Or at least I feel like I can.
Is it assumed within your circle of friends that if you tell one member of the couple you tell “the couple?”
Yes.

Im trying to think of some deep dark secrets I can share with you...

Posted by: Erin at August 31, 2005 04:26 PM

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I sure learned the hard way that you share everything when I called your wife lazy, eh? :-)

Posted by: KC Lemson at August 31, 2005 05:18 PM

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Well, you're not alone. I'm like you. (At least, in this regard. I don't have a lint collection, after all.) And my parents are like that, too.

This actually saves me a lot of time because I can tell one parent something and be reasonably certain that I don't have to go through the whole story again for the other parent. Saves me untold cell phone minutes.

And for those times when someone asks that something not be shared, it isn't. The only exception is when not sharing would be somehow harmful to the relationship. I'm not going to bring up an example. Use your imagination. Or check with Dr. Phil.

I think this works pretty well, all around. But what seems normal to me often turns out to be pretty strange to other people. Go figure.

Posted by: Jennifer at August 31, 2005 05:43 PM

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I agree witha ll of the comments except...

I get accused of keeping 'secrets' when I neglect to tell my wife something... maybe it just slipped my mind. I certainly dont have the memory (or the interest) for "he said, she said" things that my wife does. If it is important, I will certainly spill the details, but if its gossipy and not truly important, I dont see the point to passing it along.

Posted by: Jim H at September 1, 2005 01:49 PM

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I'm of the opinion that if you can't tell your spouse something, then there is a very important level of intimacy missing from your relationship. There should be free and open lines of communications with your spouse. I don't tell my wife things like the obvious, "Honey, I had a great poop today!" But I will tell my wife things that I've heard, because something you feel the need to discuss things. I think if you leave things bottled up, then it will only fester.

If you can't tell your own spouse something, then who the hell can you tell?

Posted by: Gabe at September 1, 2005 03:58 PM

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I think my husband sometimes wishes I didn't share EVERYTHING!!!

Posted by: Allison at September 2, 2005 12:44 PM

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I share everything. It's taken my parents an extremely long time to figure this out - if they tell me something cute or goofy or embarassing about my bf, I'm going to tell him. Nick tries not to share some things because he learned that hard way that not all sharing is good sharing, but I tend to try and beat the information out anyway.

Posted by: Kara at January 5, 2006 03:19 PM

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service

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