I feel like a kid on Christmas
Category: Television/Movies

I'm so excited that I can barely contain myself. "Why?" you so astutely ask. Tomorrow I start CSI writing-school!

That's right -- apparently they're pumping out so many new versions of CSI that they've officially opened up a bi-yearly two-week training course. Truth be told it's more of a seminar for wannabe screenplay writers and tech geeks, but I'm pretty sure that when my two weeks are up they'll be tendering an offer and I'll be joining the creative ranks of CSI:Cheyenne.

As I sit here in my Holiday Inn, I can already feel my creative juices flowing. Well... that's mostly because I'm looking at this, uh, questionable bedspread and wondering what other "creative juices" have flowed around here. Seriously though -- this bedspread is just screaming for some luminol and a blacklight, but I digress ...

Tell me this schedule doesn't look exciting:

9:00 - 11:00 Detectives: Who needs them?
11:15 - 1:00 Photo Enhancement: Pixels from nothing.
1:00 - 2:00 Lunch
2:00 - 4:00 Working in the Dark: Why no one can find the damn light switch in the lab
4:00 - 6:00 Gross anatomy: How to replace "naked" with really bright lights

Oh sure -- I know all the actual tech stuff, but that's what makes this course so valuable. I'll have all that working knowledge exorcized from my head and instead I'll be able to pen dialog that "sounds" impressive to the uninformed. I will be able to write, with ease, dialog such as "I analyzed the random access memory from the victim's cell phone and ran it through a DSP. I then did a high-filter pass, EQ'd the sound levels, and downloaded the results over the universal serial bus. We now have a tape of the victim's last conversation." This would, of course, be followed by the boss reinterating the last sentence in some quasi-witty way such as "Looks like she got the last word after all" or "and they say dead men don't talk...."

It's just so exciting! Wish me luck.

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