I have this nightmare. We bother to liberate the Iraqi people. We rebuild their country. We ensure their success. They join the UN, and in 50 years they join the French and the Germans to stop us from liberating yet another country. Can someone please tell me why we bother?

U.S. lowers terror threat level - Feb. 27, 2003

I can breathe easier now. The alert has been lowered to yellow. Boy, I didn't like being at orange. The only question that remains is "Where can I offload 4.7 miles of duct tape?"

American Idol on FOX

I would love for the "twist" to be Judges vs. America. I don't know exactly how it would work. However, I envision something like 2 parallel tracks.

The judges take the wildcard group and America takes the people for whom they have already voted.

Due to the onslaught of mail from Rhode Island I will not be throwing out Rhode Island. We are back to .64 people per state.

I'm not saying that I am picky or anal. There are many different ways to skin a cat. That's fine, but to paraphrase Henry Ford, "You can do it anyway you want, as long as it's my way."

Here are some examples:

American Idol on FOX

I find it absolutely amazing that Fox couldn't find 32 people in America that can sing a song from start to finish and hit ALL the notes.

If you break it down, that is only .64 people per state. Sure, Rhode Island is small. Let's throw it out. That's still .65 people per state.

There was at least one person at my high school that could sing on that show and my high school had 400 students. I am just confused.

I will take this opportunity to point out another web log. As it is fairly clear that I don't go into the nitty gritty details regarding shows, I should point you to a site that does. Nick does a pretty good job -- check it out.

I noticed a funny thing the other day. Apparently the Internet is breaking down the barriers society worked hard to put in place. Between usenet, forums, and weblogging I have started to feel like I have the right to comment on just about anything. What was once limited to computer interaction has begun to spread to the real world. Random people everywhere are now entitled to hear my opinions.

Sitting at a restaurant, I find myself "helping" people choose their entrees. "That dish is quite salty," I exclaim as if I were asked. Whatever you do don't talk about whether or not you liked a movie -- I will likely join right in. Child rearing, cars, politics, computers, I have an opinion on everything and I can't stop giving it to people.

I wonder; am I alone? Are others cursed like I am?

ABC's "The Bachelorette," Wednesdays 9/8c

Well I was wrong. If you had asked me which I would find more entertaining a) a show with one hot woman and 25 male suitors or b) one hot guy and 25 women suitors, I certainly wouldn't have said A. However, I was wrong.

The Bachelorette is just a better show. Here's why --

Perhaps this is because much of my youth was spent despising certain types of guys. You know the types; the ones that actually get the girls. While I grew out of the "not getting the girls" portion, I never did grow out of the deep-seeded hatred of certain types of guys. To name a few:

I found myself rooting for the guys that most represented me. I also found myself hating the same guys that I hated in High School. I sat there thinking "That Russ is such a slime. I know that guy. I went to college with that guy. When is Trista going to clue into it? Why are woman fooled by this stuff?"

Each week I eagerly awaited Russ's departure. It was compelling. As 'Am I Hot' proves, a couple of hot women do not make a show. Emotional investment is what it takes.

I have decided that I really like the word 'insofar.' There is something about it being three words squished together that I find very amusing.

It's sort of like the Neopolitan ice cream sandwich of words!

Road to Perdition

My wife and I have an ongoing debate. I maintain that this movie failed, in part, because people don't know/don't like the word "perdition." She just doesn't understand that people are stupid.

Do your own poll. Let me know if people know what perdition means.

I just bought my duct tape. Now I need this?

I am so sick of people mixing up me and I (e.g. He gave the book to John and I). It really isn't that hard. Use this trick -- take the other person out; say it out loud and see if you sound like a complete idiot. If you do, switch it.

Examples:

I can't help you if you think that "Me went to the store" sounds right.

MTV.com - Onair - Sorority Life - Season2

Damn MTV and their marathons. I seem to have wasted an entire Sunday watching a bunch of whiny sorority girls.

If you ever questioned that game theory will remain theoretical, spend some time in a parking structure.

In an effort to spend as little time as possible looking for a parking spot, the lead car slowly weaves through the structure. A line of cars starts to form. If there is even the hint of a spot opening up, the whole line screeches to a halt. Meanwhile, everyone knows that there is always space on the upper levels.

I would suggest that people speed to the upper levels. If there happens to be a spot open along the way, take it. Otherwise keep moving. Don't back up. Don't pass go. Don't collect $200. Just keep moving.

Unlike the typical prisoner's dilemma, there doesn't seem to be a payoff for screwing everyone else. Keep moving!

nauseous = Causing nausea; sickening
nauseated = To experience a feeling of sickness in the stomach characterized by an urge to vomit

Please get it straight!

The other day I found myself thinking like a Luddite. As my motto has always been "If you're not burning fossil fuel, you're not having fun", this was a very odd position to find myself in.

I have come to the conclusion that technology is making the vast majority of the population dumber. While there is no doubt that on a macro level everyone benefits from advances, only a few have the opportunity to enhance themselves on a micro level. Those not in that group are robbed of using their minds. There was a day when even the most basic of jobs involved mental stimulation.

Let's look at the grocery store cashier. In the 50's this was a job that involved counting back change, remembering thousands of prices, etc. Technology has reduced this job to something a monkey could do.

It would be easy to think that this phenomenon is limited to the basic jobs. However, finance jobs used to involve running numbers by hand. Spreadsheets were a mentally challenging exercise. Today, these jobs are often just data entry. Yes -- one person with a computer can replace 10 people but at what cost does this happen. Is society better?

The real question is when does the accumulation of micro negatives introduced by technology outweigh the macro positive? Can a society be better if the intellect of its members is atrophying?

Earlier today I watched 'Hands on a Hardbody." No this wasn't a steamy movie with a fit woman as the protagonist. It is a low-budget documentary, which has attracted a cult-like following. The film is a tale of strategy, endurance, and pure desperation. It asks the question, "How long will people stand next to a hardbody truck in order to claim it as theirs?" The answer is a really freakin long time.

The most disturbing (or shall I say intriguing) aspect of this movie is its anachronistic air. As I watched the film, I kept asking myself, "When did this take place?" I knew that it was filmed in the nineties. References were made to the 92 winner. The truck was a mid 90's model. I knew all these things and yet I still expected Burt Reynolds to whip through this backwater town with Cletis and Boss Hog close on his trail (Yes. Yes. I know -- different references). The characters are of a world that I had just assumed was gone. If you get a chance, I would watch this flick. You might not walk away with the truck, but you will certainly walk away feeling like your life is a little better than it could be.

TIMEeurope.com: Middle East -- The Chicken Defense

Can't we save the poor chickens and instead strap the French to the hoods!

TIME.com: Why Reality TV Is Good for Us -- Feb. 17, 2003

(thanks to Nick)

Well it's that time of year -- Survivor has started and I bemoan the fact that it sucks. This could be because I have yet to learn their names. It could be because I haven't developed an emotional attachment to them. However, I fear that I never will. With each season the characters get less and less interesting and less and less like people for whom I want to route. When I mention this to a friend and long time Survivor fan, Nick, he just doesn't see it.

What I have come to decide is that there are two types of Survivor watchers (in my world there are ALWAYS two types of anything) -- a) those who route for and b) those who route against. I am of the former. Others are of the latter. The beauty of the first season was that they recruited a cast that allowed for both. Ah the days of the lovable Colleen were wonderful, and who could forget the In Your Face Richard Fat Dance. These were the glory days. We now live in the gory days of despicable whiny people.

ABC's "I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here!".

ABC, I'm a viewer - Get Me Out of Here!

I am going to make a stand here. I am not watching ANY "Washed up celebrity shows." That includes but is not limited to 'Celebrity Mole', 'the Surreal World', or 'I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here.'

These have to stop!

American Idol on FOX

I have been directed to the Save Frenchie website. Much has been said about Frenchie losing her spot on American Idol. However, I submit that there is greater problem.

First, someone thought, "Hey she would make a great lingerie model."
Then someone said, "That makes me hot! I want some of that."

MTV.com - Real World
I think that MTV should show a little social responsibility. Here's how: They pick a cast of smokers and tell them that their job is to not smoke. Anyone caught smoking will be evicted. Talk about the crabby fights! It's really a win-win.

Maybe I will write them and suggest that that be the premise for Real World 17 - Modesto

Speaking of American Idol -- Is it me or is every 6th man in England named Simon?

American Idol

Like it or not -- Simon is nearly always right. Worse than that is the fact that he always errs on the nice side.

As I watched 'Are You Hot?', I couldn't help but think of 'Am I Hot.com'. Are we so hard up for original ideas that we are looking to the Internet?

If this country gets any dumber, we might just get 'FishCam -- The Show'

American Candidate

I don't know whether to be amused or scared. At least the producers had the civic sense not to run the candidate for congress; there they might have won. Yikes!

Joe Millionaire

At the end of the show I couldn't help but think we were witnessing a remake of 'The Wizard of OZ.' I'm serious. You have Zora looking for courage. Sarah needs a heart, and poor little Evan still hasn't found that brain.