As a red-blooded guy, I love to see this. She's straight, but she's kissing girls in protest. It just doesn't get any better. Ok -- I lied. It does get better. She's hot.

Somebody please tell Burt Reynolds to stop! For the love of God -- stop!

"You've been touched by .. You've been touched by ... a smooth criminal"

"You've been touched by .. You've been touched by ... a smooth criminal"

Is it me or have there been quite a few actors doing multiple shows this year?

The West Wing's Zoe was on The Practice.
The West Wing's Vice President was on Karen Cisco.
Alias's Allison is also on King of Queens.
Greg's Boss on Yes Dear was on I'm With Her.
Friend's Chandler was on The West Wing.

There have been others; I just can't think of them right now. I don't feel like I've seen this in the past.

It's growing on me.

If you're a 'Bumper-Sticker' person, I frankly find you a little scary. In fact, I suggest that stores just sell one bumper sticker and it should read:

"I'm too wacko to reason with"

That's what you are really saying with a bumper sticker. I'm just suggesing that we cut to the chase and save on the bulk printing.

I don't care if you're telling the car behind you that there should be "No War In Iraq" or if you're telling a woman that she should "Choose Life"; it's all the same.

Here's a test for you. If your thoughts on complex issues can be distilled down to four words, you might need to do some serious thinking. If those four words rhyme, you're further down the "I don't think for myself" path.

Ask yourself this, "Why do I never see a Lexus with a bumper sticker? Why I am always giving the thumbs up to fellow 14-year-old Honda Civics who share my taste in bumper stickers?"

Every kid learns two very valuable lessons about breakfast. First, the cereal goes in the bowl before the milk. Second, no matter how good it sounds, do not drink orange juice after you brush your teeth.

Well -- imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon Crest's new toothpaste flavor, orange.

"Orange!," I thought to myself. "That can't be right." As I reached for the package, my mouth did the mouth equivalent of hearing fingernails on a blackboard. My involuntary shiver didn't stop me though. I overruled my mouth's objections and I put one in my basket (along with Crest's other new flavor, Cinnamon Rush) and continued with my shopping.

The trip home was filled with a giddy anticipation. I know. I know. It's odd. A grown man should not get that excited about a toothpaste flavor. Let's face it; a grown man shouldn't get at all excited about toothpaste. But, for some reason, I was. I have an unnatural obsession with the flavor orange. This was just one more way to satiate my nearly unquenchable desire to eat any and all things orange.

With two new toothpastes to try, I went to the bathroom for a tooshbrushing fiesta. As the orange flavor intrigued me the most, I decided to start with it.

Well..... It was interesting. I can't say that it was an altogether unpleasant experience. However, I'm not sure that brushing your teeth should make you hungry. I am also not sure that your sink should be filled with an orange foam. With that said, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.

It was pleasant to have a mouth that didn't feel like a mint factory. It was a nice change of paste/pace. I'm not sure that I will buy another, but it's a nice weapon to have in my toothbrushing arsenal.

As for the Cinnamon, I need to give it another chance later. I'm not sure that it works on top of orange.

"Wait ... I'm almost there ..."

"Wait ... I'm almost there ..."

"Men have nipples too, you know"

"Men have nipples too, you know"

While I've been hacking around here on my log, it looks like my cousin Jeff actually wrote a book. I haven't read it, but I would love to hear a review. If you do read it, let me know how it is.

I'll be the first to admit that I watched neither "Saving Private Ryan" nor "Saving Private Lynch."

With that said, I do know that "Private Ryan" WASN'T the story. If million dollar book deals were being passed out, Private Ryan wasn't the one getting one. At some point, someone is going to have to explain why being knocked unconscious in a caravan and being rescued by an elite squad gets her "Hero" status.

People need to understand that events like this create an air of distrust. I would hate to be a woman in the army who earned her commission. Jessica Lynch just put an asterisk next to your rank and accomplishments. It’s like saying “Being captured is the best example of proud serving women that we can find.”

Sometimes you just have to love mankind. Some person just took the time out of his day to tell me how much he loved my site. This is not a person that I know. The AOL search engine brought him to my site, and he thought that the following was a sentiment that just had to be shared with a stranger:

"the only reason you haven't gotten any comments on your website yet is because it is boring. The only reason i stumbled upon it was because I was searching for something on the internet and this address popped up and i went to it. Who really cares about what you think sucks or doesn't suck. Get a more interesting web site."

Like my site or not -- I don't give a crap. I write it for me. I am not always a people person, but even I can't imagine writing another person for the sole purpose of telling them that they sucked.

I could get angry, but I won't. I feel sorry for anyone with this much anger. It's sad really.

I'm tired and I'm sick. As such, I will post the lamest post so far. I will do this despite being told by my sister that "your last few posts have sucked."

Oh sure, she says that now, but the next time someone asks her, "How many stones do you weigh?" she’ll thank me.

1) I am very excited to see Microsoft Smartphones hitting the US cell carriers. Verizon introduced theirs today (a Samsung). Now if we could just get a US carrier to carry the e200, I would be in heaven.

2) If you're like me and often find that you can find measurements that mean nothing to you (grams, mm, etc.), give Google a whirl. I bet you didn't know that you could type '120 kilograms in pounds' into Google and it would return '120 kilograms = 264.554715 pounds'.

This is a baker's dream. It will do just about anything. It will turn cups into tablespoons. It will turn tablespoons into liters. It's just cool.

BTW I now know that I weight exactly 14 stones.

My Dolphins lost -- again. I'm too depressed to write more.

It's kind of like kicking you when you’re down, but today's "The Best" entry is a product that doesn't exist anymore. My favorite brownie product is Stir-n-bake. In fact, I just ate half a package. If it wasn’t for the fact that my wife was ravenously eating the other half, I would have eaten the whole darn thing. It’s getting harder and harder to find them. We found these at a gas station outside Canada.

I need to go lie down. I'm too full -- I'm much too full.

It is a very well established fact that Nick and I rarely see eye to eye on matters of taste. Nick looked God in the eye and said, "I'll tell you what -- I'll trade all my taste away for the 'I don't need sleep' thing." God smiled and politely agreed.

As such, it should come as no shock when Nick is wrong. We are, in fact, talking about a guy that called multiple times to vote for American Idol's Kelly Clarkson. However, even I was shocked at Nick's latest entry. He proclaims this Survivor to be the best ever. WHAT? The tribes have merged and I am yet to give a rat's arse about any of the characters.

The only player that has hit my radar is Jon. He's obnoxious and I would really like to see him gone. But even Jon is flat. He fails to bring to the table the unctuous ‘charm’ that Richard and Rob brought.

Jennifer and her hearty crew of Canadian women seem to get it right. Yes -- that’s right; I’m going on the record with this one. I agree with a Canadian. Is there a treatment program for this? Perhaps I should just laugh a little at Canadian money. There we go – I’m feeling more American already. Canadian money is always good for a laugh.

Coming from the just for me (mostly) category:

HOLY CRAP!

Let's just face the facts here; just because we write "compact" on three quarters of the spots in the parking lots doesn't change the fundamental mix of cars out there. On the other hand, I suppose they don't have room to paint "We don't give a crap if your gas-guzzling expedition gets the crap dinged out it" (especially cause those spots are so damn small).

One thing that I really like about driving a Porsche is the camaraderie. More often than not when I pass another Porsche I get a little wave. It’s like he’s saying, “Hey fellow Porsche guy, have a nice day.” The interesting thing is that there is nothing elitist about it. It’s always just a happy little wave from one guy to another.

Here is today's helpful piece of advice. If you haven't replaced your shower curtain liners in the past year, do so. I would be willing to bet that most of you have nasty black stuff in the creases. For six dollars your shower could be clean. Come on, put it on your to-do list.

The power of the Internet never ceases to amaze me. While perusing a forum, I came across someone with a problem. It occurred to me that I had written a program to solve this problem. I posted the program. Another person saw this and said, “Your program is exactly what I need to finish my program. I just need a couple of tweaks.”

To make a long story short, I am now working with this person to produce a cool little tool. Do I know this person? Nope. Have I ever talked to this person? Nope. Will this work? Who knows, but it’s still a neat little experiment.

Having spent the day watching football, I have very little to say.

I will say that I was quite amused by the Levitra commercials. For a football fan it was nearly pornographic how that ball kept going in the hole. Is nothing sacred? How thinly can we veil this thing (with latex of course)?

I kept thinking that if you put the root of the product’s name, levitate, together with the commercial, you get:

Make it rise and put it in the hole!

"Apparently Mecca Cola had the same NEW Mecca Cola debacle"

"Apparently Mecca Cola had the same NEW Mecca Cola debacle"